Not if you repeat this mantra. The very statement tells the story – we get to choose to be happy, it’s not a desire. It’s a choice. As most ancient Eastern religions will tell us – pain is part of being human, suffering is not. Acceptance is key. The same is true with happiness. It’s intrinsic to being human; it’s all the stuff we put on ourselves that creates issues that somehow we have to combat. NO! Other studies have shown that even goal achievement won’t keep us happy. The pleasure of the achievement is, by it’s very nature, transient. We need to keep striving, never fully satisfied. So, again, that won’t make you happy.
Take some deep breaths. View the world as what you have, not what’s missing. The shift will literally change your whole world.
FROM INC MAGAZINE / BY KELLY MAIN
Here's what science says to say instead to instantly increase your happiness.
We all want to be happy. Yet happiness can often feel fleeting and largely elusive. But as much as the path to happiness remains a mystery, the answer might actually prove surprisingly simple.
It's not about gratitude, wavering focus, or even diminishing effort. But it does start with a simple, five-word sentence that most of us have muttered at one point or another:
"I want to be happy." Or perhaps some variation, such as "I want to be happier."
Either way, if you want to be happy, you need to stop saying this well-meaning but devilishly deceptive sentence that plagues us all. Because in a bid to find happiness, it might be the very reason happiness escapes us.
At one point or another, we've heard that the first step to making meaningful progress is making bold declarations and setting even bolder goals to match. Our culture is riddled with motivational mantras such as, "go big or go home," "go for the gusto," and "shoot for the moon."
We know that goals should be big-and how much bigger does it get than the goal of happiness?
Lofty goals are what drive innovation and it's the core of Google's O2-Plus method that fuels massive growth without causing burnout. The path to happiness isn't the same as innovation--yet it does entail another aspect of the strategy: effective goal setting.
When it comes to learning how to increase your happiness, setting your sights on the big, overarching goal of sheer happiness is adding fuel to the fire and igniting just the opposite result: unhappiness.
Science, psychology, and philosophy agree: The pursuit of happiness kills happiness
The idea that true happiness comes from within, and that it's not something that can be pursued or attained, is not solely an ancient philosophy. The field of modern science concurs.
Neuroscience has long since agreed that when it comes to happiness, finding true joy cannot be achieved through seeking it out. Studies have found that the more a person is focused on chasing happiness and contentment, the less likely they are to find it. So much so that studies have found that the pursuit of happiness is actually making us miserable.
What they do find is a lack of time. According to a study published by Science Daily. researchers found that "people who pursue happiness often feel like they do not have enough time in the day, and this paradoxically makes them feel unhappy."
But that doesn't mean the quest for happiness is a futile pursuit.
Happiness isn't a goal--it's the byproduct of a goal
It means it should simply be approached differently. With the use of effective goal-setting, you wouldn't merely declare that you want to be happier. Instead, you would declare that you want to pursue the things that (in turn) make you happy.
This approach to goal-setting is vital to both goal-setting and setting yourself up for successful goal attainment. Rather than having a lofty, overarching goal (e.g., I want to make more money), develop goals that have a clear path to attainment (e.g., I want to grow my business). It's the art of looking not at the "what" (e.g., making more money), but of focusing on the "how" (growing the business).
In doing so, it provides a clear path to the goal. And the more focused you can make the goal, the more likely you are to achieve not only the goal, but also happiness along the way.
Set yourself up for happiness
By focusing on smaller, more realistic goals that are within reach, you can make meaningful progress in the pursuit of them. In the process, you'll be more likely to set yourself up for success--and happiness.
For example, let's say, you want a promotion. But what's the path to it?
It could be further developing your skills or knowledge in the field, supercharging your productivity, or perhaps strengthening your network and improving your networking skills. All of which can help you get a promotion at work. And if not, it will help position you to get into another organization, and perhaps a higher position within it.
So stop killing your ability to be happy by saying you want to be happier.
Instead, try making your goal something other than pure happiness, but something that will increase your happiness during the pursuit of it. Try saying things like "I want to become an expert in my field," "I want to finally write that book," "I want to invest in myself and my passions," "I want to spend more time with my family," or "I want to be a better boss/friend/partner/parent."
When we stop making happiness the goal, and instead make our goal something that will contribute to our happiness, we find happiness.